The first time losing virginity

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Despite what you see on TV and in movies, having sex for the first time is rarely romantic, pleasant, or sexy. Sure, it can be—in theory. It was with my boyfriend on our one-year anniversary.

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The hormones that surge through your body when you have sex can sometimes cause strong emotions afterwards. Some people believe in the concept of virginity. However, the traditional definition of virginity, which is the first time a person has penetrative penis-vagina intercourse, leaves out a lot of other types of sex, including oral sex and anal sex.

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Your first time having sex can be the subject of a lot of excitement, but it can also carry feelings of fear or anxiety. Mostly, though, it's hard to imagine what it will actually be like when it happens. For many of us, the only conception we have of our first time is what we see in the movies, but those portrayals don't very often get it right — especially when it comes to the first time.

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Not all of us lose our virginities at age 16 in the back of an old Camry. First things first: what does virginity mean to you? Intercourse might not be a part of your desired repertoire, or there may be other acts that have more meaning to you. Would you like to lose your virginity with someone you care about?

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Like: If there are two holes in your vagina your urethra and your vaginal canalwhich hole does sex happen in? And what about all this "popping the cherry" stuff I've heard about? And WTF is a hymen?!

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Photo by Leah Flores via Stocksy. Because we place so much cultural value on sex—and because many of us receive terrible, inaccurate information about it thanks, abstinence-only education! We're here to help.

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We've been getting a lot of great questions about first-time sex at sexqs buzzfeed. The following pieces of advice are meant to apply to all cisgender and transgender individuals — regardless of your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. That said, not every tip might apply to every person.

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My boyfriend was also a virgin and we were losing it together. Twas awkward. He finished in like 40 seconds. Plus we were outside and it was cold.

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I had just turned 18 years old when I lost my virginity. He was also my first boyfriend and, at least my teenage standards, my first love. Or rather not the love that one feels as they get older and experience more of the world and relationships.

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Ahh your first time. All rainbows and butterflies, birds chirping and soft lighting. Finally doing the deed with the one you love in a hotel in Amsterdam, after a day spent soaking in the sights and a romantic dinner at a five star restaurant.

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